Respite
by KingRiles
Summary: After Peridot has to retreat into her gem during a mission, Steven leaves her gem with Lapis at the barn.


**I've been searching for a fanfic such as this but haven't had any good luck finding one with the same kinda plot - if there's any plot at all, because honestly it's just me craving some good old grief and general introspection on Lapis' part. However indirect it may be. Thus, Respite came to life! I like one-shots. I dunno if I'll ever produce a multi-chapter fic; maybe once I figure out a good ol' plot to work with.**

 **This is set sometime after _Beta_ , by the way. And I expect the outcome will be outdated sometime by the show in the future, however far away that fateful episode may be. Yep! I'm ready for some three B's for my little green gremlin. If you get that reference, by the way, the three B's thing, I love you.**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Steven Universe or its characters, as it and they belong to the wonderful Rebecca Sugar!**

-Cover art created by myself.

Lapidot themes, romantic or platonic ( _whichever you interpret and/or prefer!_ ) can be found in this!

* * *

Steven could remember in crisp clear detail the moment it happened as he fondled the gem in his hands, trudging up the hill. Cautious. As though it were so delicate that a simple twitch of his fingers could send it shattering like brittle ice shards. His heart throbbed at the cruel simile his mind had conjured up.

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes as he felt a raindrop fall against the back of his thick hair.

* * *

 _"Steven, watch out!"_

 _Garnet's voice shook him from his stupor. Steven immediately erupted to life in a rapid movement, jumping out of the way as one of the crystalline ice beasts soared overhead with a raucous cry. He readied himself should the creature be able enough to recuperate from its airtime and decide that he was the nearest and easiest prey._

 _A brief glance around showed him Pearl and Amethyst fighting back-to-back, whipping and jabbing in practiced tandem against two equally brutish ice corruptions. Peridot was adroitly levitating and battering around the metal rod she brought on missions now, since she still had no definable weapon to summon from her gem. Garnet was sprinting in his direction, and as soon as she passed him in a blur of dark maroon he dove out of her line of fire as the crash of her gauntlets against the arctic beast's shattered the air._

 _Steven scurried out further out of the way until the snow underfoot seemed to slip and crumple beneath him, earning a yelp of shock as his left foot was swallowed by a snow drift. In a hasty attempt to free himself he gripped at what looked like a solid lump of snow. Unfortunately, it was a ploy like the rest of the drift and his hands sunk in._

 _A frosty snarl rumbled to his right and Steven quickly responded by awkwardly twisting in the thick snow to see one of the large creatures stamping across the battle field, skirting around the whole event until it was in direct line with him._

 _Steven groaned as he struggled to free himself from the already solidifying snow, distress creasing his features as he frantically flicked his eyes from his trapped appendages to the creature approaching him with increasing speed. There'd be no way he could summon a bubble with his arms and legs trapped like this!_

 _"Guys! **Help**!"_

 _By the time the helpless request stuttered out from his lips the beast's jaws tore open and let loose a barrage of icicles that flew directly towards Steven._

 _"Steven!" A nasally voice cried out, lost under the scream of Steven's attacker._

 _Steven swore that the swirl of ice shards would be the last thing he saw before a flash of green and grey impeded his sight. Garnet slammed into his assailant at the exact same instant, followed quickly by a cacophony of crackles and finally, an explosion that sent up a cloud of frost in its wake._

 _Steven scrambled to see Peridot slouched on her knees just in front of him after the snow dust settled. Slowly she turned, the eyes behind her pale visor wide with horror. While the icy tears in his gaze made it difficult to discern, he swore he could see something protruding from her abdomen. . ._

 ** _No!_**

 _Just as his body thrust forward to rush to the green gem's aid she suddenly burst into a pale lime cloud, her triangular gemstone falling into the snow in what could have been slow motion by how agonizing it felt to Steven._

* * *

Steven crawled up the hill towards the barn, making out the tilted silo tip before anything else. Dark grey clouds rolled ominously overhead. A distant rumble promised more rain to come, but the gem was practically numb to the elements as he made his way to the top.

Regardless, he slipped the green gem into his pocket, keeping a hand wrapped protectively around it still, shielding it from the raindrops like they'd shatter it with just a gentle tap.

He stared at the remodeled barn with remorseful eyes. The rest of the gems had wanted to keep Peridot's gem in safe care in the temple, but Steven hadn't thought it fair to let Lapis be uninformed as to what had happened on their mission.

It wasn't okay to hide things, even if it meant protecting someone's feelings from a painful truth.

* * *

"Lapis?"

The slim gem in question quickly perked up from her place on the loft, quickly summoning her wings and flying down into the heart of barn. She could see pudgy hands grasping the edge of the barn doors, drawing them apart slowly.

"Steven!" Lapis chimed gladly, rushing over to the doors and quickening the process of sliding the damp wood open to let her friend into the barn and away from the storm outside. "Hi! It's so good to see you again!"

"H-Hey, Lapis," Steven replied with a smile which Lapis knew the instant his lips twitched into place was feigned. She'd been a master of the expression herself at one point, after all. He also seemed downtrodden; if the general upset posture didn't give it away, the redness in his eyes screamed it to the stars and back.

Lapis quickly ducked into a concerned crouch, hands reaching out to hold the boy's shoulders in benign worry. "Steven, are you all right?" She asked quietly, scouring over his entire frame for any form of physical affliction. He looked a little pale, if anything, but. . .

Her scrutiny of Steven's body ceased when his arms trembled and he reached into his coat pocket, pulling out something that glinted bright green in between his fingers.

"Steven?"

"I-I'm so sorry, Lapis- she j-jumped in front of me, and. ."

It was impossible to keep the small gasp to herself when she realized what he was holding.

Steven's composure, feeble and shaky as it had been, collapsed as he he folded in on himself, now holding Peridot's gem with both hands as if to hide it. Lapis immediately wrapped her arms around the boy, though her eyes stayed plastered to the gem in his hands.

"Steven, it's going to be okay!" She tried once she felt a violent tremor shake Steven. "She's going to be okay. She just retreated into her gem to heal, remember? Like all gems do when they get a little hurt."

Steven's body seemed to unravel at that, the tension loosening from his squared shoulders as he sadly looked from the gem in his hands - now dotted with a few specks of water from his tears - to Lapis. "I-I know," he sniffed. "B-But she looked so. . so scared. . " He added thickly.

Lapis wasn't going to ask for details as to how Peridot was injured so badly as to need to retract into her gem for solace. Truthfully, she didn't want to know; try as she might to pretend not to openly care for Peridot, some part of her felt raw and hollowed with anger at whatever had hurt her barnmate. Her _friend._

"She's going to be just fine, Steven," promised Lapis as she gave the boy a reassuring squeeze, before pulling back but not removing her hands from his trembling shoulders. "Did you want me to. . look after her?"

Steven only dumbly nodded and sniffled, reaching out and carefully holding the green gem out to Lapis. She retracted her arms from his shoulders and cautiously took it from Steven's palms, an unexpected thrill of heartache coursing beneath her skin at the contact. The gem was smooth, bright, and cold.

"I only thought it was right that you knew what happened to her instead of just keeping her in the temple until she came back," Steven murmured into the fabric of his coat.

Lapis pulled on a sweet, grateful smile at Steven's thoughtfulness. "Thank you, Steven," she murmured in reply, taut shoulders rolling down as she drew one hand over the gem in a protective clasp. "I'll watch after her, I promise. And I'll even fly us over as soon as she's back, even better than before. Okay?"

The thick curls on Steven's head bobbed as he nodded his assent, looking up with a relieved smile and glassy eyes to match. "Okay."

His eyes drifted down to Lapis's blue hands, where he couldn't even make out even a sliver of green through the protective clutch. Lapis studied him for a moment before unwrapping the top hand, revealing the gem for him to see.

"See you later, Peridot," the boy sadly said, offering a weak wave to the gem. His lids fell to half-mast; he looked up to Lapis through his lashes. "Promise to come over as soon as she's back?" He inquired anxiously.

Lapis brightly smiled, though her eyes reflected a more sincere element as she tucked her chin in. "I promise."

* * *

Lapis, as soon as Steven left, had resorted to absently flying back up to the loft and retreating to the couch she'd been on before.

She crossed her legs and pulled in her wings as she blankly dragged her thumb over the surface of the gem which still sat on her open palms. With Steven gone, the true weight of what happened began to drag her down as she hunched and stared down.

Before the two had become friendlier and ultimately closer, Lapis considered the fact that she probably would have ditched the gem somewhere in the junk piles of the barn. An apologetic chuckle escaped to no one in particular as she brought a hand up to her hair and ran it absentmindedly through.

 _Now, though. . ._

The blue gem turned towards the back of the loft, where an assortment of things she and Peridot had collected over the past few weeks had been laid to rest. Among them were a few messy blankets, mattresses, and worn pillows, appropriately stationed there in their possible relation to the sofa they cherished.

Refusing to set the gem down, Lapis padded over to the pile and picked up a seasoned dull red pillow. It reminded her of the colour of Steven's shirt.

She waded back over to the sofa and set the pillow down on the left cushion. The cushion Peridot always preferred whenever they watched Camp Pining Hearts together. She then placed the gem atop it, carefully nestling it into the soft fabric with nothing more than a small smile dancing on her lips.

 _I'll protect you._

* * *

She waited.

While Peridot's gem never left the pillow Lapis had chosen, said cushion was moved about the barn depending on what Lapis was doing that day.

She would take it down to the lower level whenever she would start fiddling with items to create meep morps with, but she could never truly concentrate enough to successfully finish a piece.

She would take it outdoors whenever she needed the fresh air, even to the roof of the barn when night fell and the skies were bold with rich nocturnal hues. She'd lean into the lounge pillow they'd placed up there to stargaze with, clutching the pillow in her arms whilst making comments about which star systems were which. She'd laugh when she remembered Peridot excitedly explaining each one and its respective planets and resources.

She would take it up to the truck bed and watch Camp Pining Hearts with the pillow on her lap as Lapis watched. Sometimes, though, she'd realize she was focusing more on the gem in front of her rather than the television. She'd think about how the moving light of the television screen would slightly reflect against it.

She would take it down to the smaller-than-average lake Peridot had prepared for her all those months ago, placing it carefully on the circular black tube Peridot was fond of. She always made careful measure to balance the pillow in a manner that it wouldn't slip through the whole in its centre. Then again, if the pillow did threaten to slip, she would quickly manipulate the waters to hold it in place with a simple flick of her wrist.

She would take it and sit on the sofa again, sometimes keeping it in her hands but sometimes leaving it to rest on the couch cushions. But whenever she did take the gem there, her eyes never left it.

Sometimes, she would find herself cradling the gem and silently cursing Peridot for taking so long.

Sometimes, she feared she was never going to come back. That something had gone awry when she fled into the gem and had shattered, internally. If such a thing were possible. Something about never hearing the familiar comfort of a particular cackle of triumph ever again made the weight in her chest throb to the point where she'd force herself to remember that that wasn't feasible because Peridot _wasn't_ shattered. Or _cracked_ , even. She just wasn't back yet.

Sometimes, she'd find herself with an arm wrapped around the pillow. A fist propped up her cheek while the rest of her laid lethargically over the couch, limp aside from the occasional shift of a limb that had grown uncomfortable from being in a position for too long. She'd stare down through the dark blue locks encompassing her face, at the still green gem. Waiting for a glint, a flicker of light to indicate signs of life, anything.

She waited.

* * *

Sun streamed in through the open doors of the barn. Dust motes flashed gold in the rays, happily swirling around one another before departing to dance with other particle partners.

Lapis sat with her legs crossed in the centre of the barn, fiddling with a strange item with a small wooden stick base and topped with a bristle. The bristle's tip was stained with green paint, it looked like.

She think she remembered it being referring to it as a paintbrush.

Curiously she summoned a bit of water with a thoughtful blink and whisked it over the tip of the brush, brushing the now damp bristle over a finger and humming when it left behind a watery green streak. It made her finger appear dark teal under the sunlight.

It reminded her of Peridot for some reason.

As soon as the green gem came to mind she turned to check on the pillow that was now kept tucked to her side at all times. It still sat, untouched by anything other than the occasional flutter of her skirt whenever a wayward breeze swept the barn.

It had been approximately one week since Steven had dropped Peridot off. He had even come by on the fifth day, eyes wide with hope that was soon chipped into when he found Lapis sitting on the banks the tiny lake. He'd thought it was sweet she kept Peridot close to her at all times. He'd hovered around for a bit before promising to come back in another handful of days if they didn't come find him first. Key word, _they_.

The recollection of Steven's promise resounded in her mind and she felt another bittersweet tug at her chest.

She couldn't blame Peridot for needing to take her time. She still didn't know what exactly had happened to her. She had temporarily considered asking him the story of Peridot's demise, but in the instant he looked down at her gem, she quickly buried the query.

The wash of grief and culpability that blighted his face was enough to discourage any and all curiosities she had.

In her introspection she almost didn't see the faint flicker of light emanate from the gem she was reminiscing about.

Lapis's eyes perked and the rest of her body followed suit.

She set the paintbrush aside and focused intensely on the pillowed gem. She almost thought she'd imagined the glint before another sparked within the gem's core. Suddenly, the whole thing was engulfed in light energy before beginning to carefully levitate off of its cushion.

Lapis scrambled to her feet and watched in gleeful astonishment as the light-wrapped gem rose higher and higher before a body made of pure light energy materialized. First, the familiar tetrahedral hairstyle, though something was off that Lapis couldn't quite place yet - what with her mind racing at the speed of a couple light years a second. Second, the familiar body shape Lapis had grown so fond of since they hit it off. Small, but not exactly slight as she was. Wide hips, a small waist, and a large chest.

Almost as soon as the light energy had completed forming the base of Peridot's physical form it dropped to the floor, meeting the floorboards of the barn with a _thwump_ sort of sound.

The light enveloping the newly regenerated form faded away to reveal a familiar face, with eyes closed behind the same protective visor.

Her hair retained its signature shape, though where it framed her face a rebellious tuft stuck out on each side. Like the bottoms of a star, mused Lapis as she continued her perusal of her friend - who was now quickly blinking and grabbing experimentally at her abdomen, confusion and then relief flooding her face.

For the most part, her uniform remained the same. A sleeveless v-neck, though where the yellow diamond on her chest had been a star sat instead, proud. Dark green wrapped around the bottom half of said star, reaching down to where medium green leggings began. The diamonds on her knees were gone now, too, replaced with small yellow stars. The most significant change of all, though, was the absence of her socked feet. They were hidden behind compact boots, the same dark green as the bottom of her torso and tipped with the same yellow of her hair and respective stars.

Her gem shined brighter than ever.

As soon as the light finished sparkling about her body Lapis threw herself at the smaller gem. A relieved laugh bubbled from her throat as she threw her arms around Peridot.

"You're back!"

 _"_ Lapis! _"_

" _You're finally back. . ._ "

Lapis didn't realize she was practically shaking as she held onto Peridot. It was only when she felt small hands press against her back and Peridot murmur sheepish, flustered consolation she registered the shivers plaguing her shoulders. She forced herself to be still as she minutely tucked her face into a small green shoulder.

"Hey **,** _hey **-** I'm okay_! I'm okay, really," squawked Peridot. Lapis felt a squeeze on her shoulders before the willowy blue gem pulled away to take her reformed friend in again, eyes threateningly damp as she exhaled a deep sigh of solace.

"Sorry," Lapis apologized with a watery laugh. "I was just worried because you were-"

"Gone for so long?" Peridot inquired with brows quirked slightly, an amused grin gracing her lips.

"You could say that, yeah."

"Well! If it's any consolation, I just couldn't decide where to put the stars! After all, how else would anyone recognize the leader of the Crystal Gems without a big, prominent star?" Peridot quipped humorously, taking a quick bounce backwards and assuming a revealing stance. Her legs placed equally apart as she twisted her hips and placed a hand on one side, the other proudly motioning to her chest where the largest of the stars stood.

Lapis brought her arms to her waist and laughed gently, bringing up an arm to sheepishly wipe away any moisture that had begun to make its way down her cheeks.

"Yeah, how else?"

* * *

 **A.N.,** **well that only took a few hours to write because I kept getting distracted! This is only my interpretation of how Peridot may turn out the next time she regenerates in canon. I _really_ doubt she's gonna get impaled by Frosty the Snowbeast but it was fun old angst for me to write anyway! All I want for her is. . some _boots. Nice 'ol big, bulky combat boots._ _Protect the feets._ _Protect them._**


End file.
